If I May

Mood: Wyclef Jean (Carnival 2: Memoirs of an Immagrant) and Fort Minor (Rising Tide)

Quote: "For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness."-Author Unkown

Countdown to my birthday: 24 days

Blog:
My Dearest Friend,
Man is designed to care, our greatest feature, our most fatal flaw. We care, we cannot control it, but we care. You say you don't care about anything anymore (I have your blog open as I'm typing this), "[you] don't give a crap about anything anymore." Actually, you care about not caring. Do not let this become your passion. To put it into your own words, you give a crap about not giving a crap. Never let yourself become so focused, so caring, on not caring that you amputate yourself from the body that is mankind. A limb is meant to be attached ninety nine out of every one hundred instants. You, Friend, you are meant to be attached. I know what it is like to want to be away from people. You can read my thoughts on that throughout my blog, listen to your own advice, and let me say from experience, it is much better to be attached to the body the purposely amputated from it.
We are what we are. We can only do so much, which unfortunately, in the big picture is very little. Accept that. Let yourself do what little anyone in the world can do, then let the rest take care of itself. Let the uncontrollable things in life wash over and baptize you in their pain, sorrow, and joy. Let the uncontrollabe problems be just that, uncontrollabe. Treat them like the weather, adapt to the days demands and nothing more. Often times we treat our problems much the opposite. We attempt to change them, to tackle them by ourselves or with others. I say we should share them with our friends, or keep them to ourselves, do what little we can and feel them flow over us, let us be born again through them.
That is all we can do. Don't you understand? Tip the ball and hopes it falls the direction we want it to. The former statement still enlarges and exagerates the amount of control we have over our problems. All we can really do is pray for a weather change which may never happen, but we can only hope, and until our long awaited sunny day, we must dress for the weather.
My friend, your only flaw is caring to much.
Yours Truly,
Drake Frost

I did this with my iPod touch, and I feel cool.

A Song

Mood: For once, nothing.

Quote: "I thought about Hassan's dream, the one about us swimming in the lake. There is no monster, he'd said, just water. Except he'd been wrong about that. There was a monster in the lake. It had grabbed Hassan by the ankles, dragged him to the murky bottom. I was the monster." -The Kite Runner (pg. 86)

Blog: I'm currently engaged in writing a song on my guitar. Its not amazing, the guitar part is really pretty, but I'm having difficulty witht he lyrics. I read The Kite Runner in two days (yesterday and today), and its really good. It started me thinking about making my guitar song about redemption, and maybe with a little love thrown in. This is what I have so far:

Be Right

You see his face in the mirror
Looking back into your eyes
All your sins and wasted sorry's
Staring with the stony eyes
(And) all you want is to undo it
Go back into the light

Time does not change
Time cannot change
Time must stay the same
Time must stay the same

The pain haunts through the day
Only comes out in the night
Your pillow's wet another day
Trying to make it right
The pain is in you
You can't make it right

Change for me
Change it now
Loose the binding
Chains from hell

I called you yesterday
To hear a voice not yours
I would crawl to find a way
I would make you right

Redemption is pain
Felt to make things right
Please, Please
Please let us be right

Clouds

Mood: Sufjan Stevens
Quote: "God is love. Love is blind. Ray Charles is blind. Ray Charles is God."-Anonymous Graffiti (I found this in my AP Psych book).

Things I want for Christmas:

1. Love
2. A girlfriend that meets the aforementioned requirements (sorry to those of you who are not 26ers).
3. A Wii
4. No homework (yeah right)
5. The newest Zits treasury (Alternative Zits)

Thats just some of the awesome things I put.

Blog: ***This is my naturalist essay I wrote for English, I thought it was pretty good***

I stared at the sky. The endless, near infinite, expanse of gray-blue that makes one feel small. On this quiet September afternoon I pondered the objects in the sky. There are many of them; shirts left on a dirty floor, white on top, a dusted gray on bottom. They float, snowballs filled with helium, like opaque balloons that refuse to come down. They are the little wonders we call clouds.
Clouds, like any other thing in nature, must be observed long enough for one to notice their magnificence. A cloud is not one organism but a conglomerate of numerous individuals each attempting to blend in. Each hulking herd moves slowly, lumbering past other members of its race without a wave hello or a slight nod. Each cloud-herd dwells in complete isolation from those outside it. Each herd passes without knowledge, self-obsessed with how it looks externally, whether it is fluffy, shaped correctly and so on. “Are we white enough?” cloudlings wonder, “Are you with them because I know I’m with you, and if I’m with you and you are with the rest, then I must be with the rest.” So the cloudlings continue to fuss, focused on the trivial logic of being together, so focused on the mass.
On a rare occasion, however, I noticed a cloudling break free of its invisible bonds, a small wisp in the middle of giant herds, floating in a sea of blue. This individual cloudling lasted for a second before it was consumed by another mass. Then another wisp would break free, only to be absorbed by a separate collective entity. Then a thousand wisps broke free, “I am me, not all of you,” they say as they collide to form the mass of I-am-me-not-all-of-you.
So I see it is with society. We wander the vast expanse of life so consumed with our own appearance and involvement that we are completely ignorant of someone else a hair’s breadth away. We lumber, all of us, part of a living mass, a collective conscience. Then, on rare occasion we assert our individuality. “I am an individual!” we exclaim proudly, “I am not a clone!” and then we break free like a wisp in the sky, only to be reabsorbed by another mass. “I am a reject,” one says. Each “reject” wisp then congregates to form a mass of “rejects”. So it appears when a group of “individuals” who go against “societal norms” dress the same. They dress different than myself, but the exact same as their comrades.
It is then I realize, underneath the clouds, that we are never truly individuals. We can reject, accept, or change whatever we would like and for a moment we may be individuals. Then, in a blink of an eye, we realize that once again we are the same as those around us. So when someone says to me, “At least I am original.” I often think of clouds.

I'll Be Deep and Profound Later

Mood: Ghetto Gospel

Quote: "The nicest thing about standards is there are so many to choose from."-Andres S. Tannebaum

Videos you should listen to:

• Ghetto Gospel (Tupac ft. Elton John) : http://youtube.com/watch?v=jsHkuWanobE
• Come thou Fount (Sufjan Stevens) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1bSlS6OWTs
• Where'd You Go (Fort Minor) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KN4wNKEwzEY

Blog: Let me be deep later. I'll post my essay (which I like) later. I'll do a lot of things later, just let me be normal. I'll be thoughtful tomorrow, deep the day after. Today I want to be unthoughtful and totally shallow.

A couple people have been saying that I won't get a girlfriend because I'm too picky. This is true, although some myths, such as that my significant other needs to be a model and a genious are untrue. I will create the list, to verify all the questions, and dispel (and prove) assumptions and thoughts that one would have about myself, and my standards.

So it begins. The list. In no particular order, but some can be modified.

1. Sense of humor-whats the point if she doesn't laugh?
2. Inteligent-geniuses (or geni) are scary, but a little brain in the ol' noggin never hurt anyone. Your head is supposed to store more than air.
3. Likes my friends-yes, even the retarded ones. Especially my nerdy ones.
4. Relaxed-likes to chill and not worry about anything.
5. Not controlling-lets me be me and doesn't automatically assume things that are completely ridiculous.
6. Has a cell phone-I found that it helps, having had many relationships vicariously through my friends.
7. Appreciates silence-when conversation dies away, its ok. Enjoys the quiet times by herself.
8. Open-will talk about what needs to be talked about, doesn't hide things.
9. Knows a little about video games-understands basic concepts (such as they system should be turned off when switching games on a Nintendo 64 etc.)
10. Likes herself-its no fun having to constantly reassure the person in question they are pretty or something like that.
11. Adventurous (so not spelt right)-likes to try new things.
12. Enjoys food-eats good food, likes sushi and other exotic dishes.
13. Has common sense-eliminates (or greatly reduces) the occurance of "Are you kidding me?" moments.
14. Doesn't limit-Never uses "I'm blonde" or "Thats just how I am" as an excuse. Doesn't classify herself.
15. Knows about music-pretty self-explanatory.
16. Good-looking-good-looking to me and tries to keep herself looking nicely.
17. Self-confident-not arrogant. Accepts when she is wrong, knows when she is right.
18. Doesn't have a personal bubble- maybe not as extreme as me, but not a compulsive three foot box person.
19. Fun-likes to put herself out there, likes to have fun. Doesn't mind looking stupid at a friend's house.
20. Not embarrassed by me
21. Excepts me-odds are, I'm not really going to change, much.
22. Understands-knows when its time to be serious, and when to joke.
23. Enjoys being with me-doesn't care if we're just hittin' it up on the couch or partying with some friends. Likes the fact that I'm there
24. Independent-Doesn't mind doing different things from time to time. Lets me go off on my own and fully capable of doing the aforementioned by hereself.
25. Accepts Life-knows that somethings don't change, and some do.
26. Doesn't do drugs
27. Inquisitive-asks questions and likes to learn
28. Thinks learning is more important than a GPA
29. Appreciates the little things-a raindrop. a walk, sunshine. Likes the nice things that usually go unnoticed.
30. Liked by my friends and family-not really all that good if noone else likes you.
31. Doesn't get offended-if I do something stupid lets it go, if someone says something offensive, forgets about it.

Being a supermodel would help too. So there you go. I'm picky, may I never stop being so.