How to: The Bolivian Way

Mood:I listened to Basshunter last night. So I guess, if I could, Basshunter

Effects of the Altitude:

• Little children (most notable Sam´s little brother) go crazy
• Sleep is increased to twelve hours a night.
• Heart rate goes up.
• The sun is brighter.

Blog: La Paz is rampant with stray dogs, so it is not uncommon for one to see dog feces on the sidewalk (watch your step). The city constantly smells of excrement and smog, but when you pass a bakery a delicious smell fills your nostrils, even the the paint some guy was spraying smelt good. As I went through the streets I turned over to see a Cholita (native women) squatting on a road. I found this very curious, but continued walking. Thats when Betsy turned to me and said, ¨Not all the poop is animal poop¨. I felt nauseous, there was a woman taking a crap on the street! Who does that? Obviously some Bolivians.

As I toured La Paz, visiting various parks and a cathedral, a came up with a how to guide. Here it is:

How to: A Guide to Life in Bolivia

How to use the restroom:

1. Lift up toilet seat.
2. Excrete waste in prefered form and style.
3. If you feel the need to wipe, do so.
4. If you wiped, dispose of toilet paper in nearby garbage can.
5. Flush toilet and leave.

How to drive:

1. Enter car.
2. Turn on car, and pull out of curb.
3. Do not obey any lane signs, and create as many lanes as needed.
4. When you come upon a pedestrioan, maintain speed and honk once.
5. In most cases the pedestrian moves to the side.
6. If the pedestrian does not, continue onwards and hit them, or break right before, sparing their lives.

How to communicate:

1. Listen to the person and try to make out what you can.
2. If you do not understand, look at your friend.
3. Allow your friend to answer for you.
4. If you are alone nod your head, and say some words in the foreign language.
5. Smile when the other person does, the politely leave.
6. If the person is asking if you would like something (a shoeshine or sunglasses or something of that nature) immediately smile and say, ¨No gracias¨if the person persists, continue to walk and say ¨No gracias¨over and over.

How to take a shower:

1. Turn knob so shower begins.
2. Fiddle with knob to find the supposed hot water.
3. After fiddling for at least five minutes find the warmest water you can.
4. Remove clothing.
5. Step into shower, fully submerging yourself in the shower water.
6. Scream like a little girl because the water is cold.

Bolivia is great, and with my how to guide you will be pro at living there.