Sunday, July 8, 2007

The Last Will and Testament of

Mood: In the Sun (and its various remixes) again...
Countdown: 3 more mornings waking up in Bolivia

Things I'm Looking Forward To When I Return:

  1. Flushing toilet paper down the toilet
  2. Fresh fruit and vegetables
  3. Fast internet
  4. Fast computers
  5. People who speak english as well (or maybe a little better maybe) as I do
  6. People I know
  7. Drinkable tap water
  8. My imaginary girlfriend
  9. My cell phone (I have it to call my parents when I land, but it doesn't work in Bolivia)
  10. My own iTunes and iPod
  11. "Safe" water and ice and all other forms of water on anything (or included with anything)
  12. Political stability
  13. Not having to have Sam and Ben around
  14. Escape from the infernal game of Mao (which I swear I will only play if attractive (as I dub attractive (like really attractive (like people who I would like))))
  15. Non-pirated movies in movie theaters in English
  16. A Costa Vida pork salad (I've been craving lettuce)
  17. Cold drinks
  18. Heat (I really really really like hot weather)
  19. Attractive girls (there haven't been too many, you'd think in a city this big...)
  20. My family (everyone sigh and say how cute. Aren't I just the cutest thing?)
Things I will miss:
  1. Ultra cheap prices
  2. A 8:1 exchange rate
  3. Awesome hats
  4. Cholitas!!!!!!!!
  5. Betsy reading aloud (Betsy is Sam's mummy)
  6. Throwing paper airplanes out of the 14th floor of a building
Things I've learned:
  1. Don't play Mao (of course unless hott girls are present)
  2. Boring Provo has wonderful things
  3. Things that you shouldn't do (regarding immoral things) are all cognates (Fornucacion anyone?)
  4. Church is the same everywhere
And now for the last thing: The Last Will and Testament of

Preface: I am riding down the aptly named Camino de Muerte (Road of Death, or in other words Death Road) on a bike. I'm definitely not looking forward to it (it is the most dangerous road in the world after all), and in case I die, I would like to leave this, The Last Will and Testament of .
  1. I leave all my Bolivia memories to Sam and the other Deardens
  2. To Kyle:Every lie I've ever told
  3. All my gifts to the various people that I bought them for:
    1. A hat and a manbag to my dad
    2. A bag and two magnets to my sister
    3. A backpack to kyle
    4. A hat to my grandpa
    5. A single layer hat to my cousin
    6. My room, to Kevin, who would probably like to live there
    7. My clothes to anyone who would want them (or fit them).
    8. My iPod dock and job to Jon
    9. All of my CD's and my screen ID's to my sister
    10. The pseudonym Drake Frost to Coulsen, the originator of the name
    11. Howard (my dragonfly who is frozen in my freezer) to Shelbey, because she loves him so much
    12. My Bolivian stuff to my parents to cry over
    13. All my money in my various funds to pay for my funeral and to fly my body back
    14. All my nudist dreams to be divied up to Coulsen, Kyle, Johnny, and Mark
  1. To Tess (one of my favorite people and fellow Hufflepuff) all the awesome things I've ever done
As you can see I'm not looking forward to it...

2 comments:

Shelbey said...

You. Froze. It. I feel nauseous.

T Kelly said...

Thanks! I hope you don't die because I want you to have many more awesome times!